The Blog of mamapolo

One of the things EVERYBODY tells a caregiver of someone who is ill - when possible, accept the help that others offer.

I haven't been able to do that, because my husband's diabetes has required micromanaging, and although I took a crash course in how this affects that, and what his expression means (cranky, high sugar; contemptuous, low sugar), it's not realistic to give all that subjective information to a third party and expect them to act on it properly and timely.

Tomorrow morning, however, he has his PET scan, finally. He won't get any results - just the test - and his cousin offered to drive him to the test, and he encouraged me to accept her offer. I did.

It's tricky, because he can't eat for 6 hours prior to the test, which could send him into a hypoglycemic episode. I filled her in as best I could, but I don't have the confidence level I would like to.

I made up a 'care package' for him to take along, with a peanut butter sandwich, orange juice, a granola bar, glucose tablets. I printed out a sign which reads, in huge letters, "Husband mine: GET YOUR CARE PACKAGE OUT OF THE FRIDGE, PUT YOUR GLUCOMETER IN IT AND TAKE IT WITH! P.S. I love you." I taped it to the front doorknob so he'll see it and won't forget.

I still feel like I'm deserting him. There would be nothing I could do but walk in with him and sit in a waiting room while he has the PET scan, but still.

I'm setting the alarm for 2:00 am, so if his sugar is too low then, he can have some yogurt with corn starch in it to raise it a bit through the night - and through the test.

I hate the thought that he might sugar-crash, and I'll be at work. He's very independent, always has been, but since we've been through so many of these, and after the third one, I learned how to anticipate and deal with it, he feels safer when I'm there. I know he'll be in a medical building, where they will surely know what to do, but I still feel like it's my responsibility.

I'm taking the afternoon off, because he has a pulmonary function test THEN.

It's crazy, because all the medical people emphasize all the time that it's important he eats on a regular schedule and takes his insulin at consistent times - and then doctor appointments and testing all take place in such a way that it's impossible to do.

ARGHHHH.

I'm going to bed so I can wake him at 2:00.

Night.