The Blog of mamapolo

Thank you for your gentle nooging about who's taking care of me.

Remarkably, I think, the nurses in ICU are constantly checking up on me - it may be selfish on their part, as all their beds are full and there's no room for me! They keep me hydrated, send me off for sleep when it is called for.

I have found it easier to be by myself for the most part - as I have no reserves to take another person into consideration. I have many friends who are constantly in touch, and considerate enough to know they may not get a call back immediately.

There is also a banding-together of the families in the ICU waiting room - a shorthand quickly develops, and a mutual caretaking - when your loved one is in crisis, I bring you dinner - and when my loved one is in crisis, you make me hot chocolate.

I am tired, to be sure, but what I am going through is nothing compared to what Tim is going through - at least I know WHY what is happening is happening - and for now, he does not.

Tim needed two units of blood yesterday, and today when I went downstairs, Red Cross was accepting donations in a hospital meeting room. After that (did you know you now have to answer two questionnaires that involve SIXTY questions?) I felt like, well, like I had donated blood, and after the two successful 'practice runs' of weaning Tim off the ventilator (he did that as he does everything - extremely well), they sedated him again and I came home for sleep.

Thanks for your concern. As guilty as it makes me feel for leaving the hospital, no one will be served if I collapse, and I have come to understand that.

Good night.