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Roller Coaster Ride

To a friend who just called to ask how it was going, I said, "I've decided to just keep my hands in the air at all times and be ready to scream on this roller coaster."

After yesterday's traumatic and draining events, I came home and sat down on the floor in the dining room and cried while our Corgis put their paws on my shoulders and licked my face (not an experience I customarily enjoy) while they whimpered in sympathy.

Then I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. It is mildly amusing that a woman of my age can still get her feelings hurt so badly, for it was the "You B****" that I was crying over.

This morning I puttered around for an hour, tidying up, sorting mail, disposing of 11 days' worth of unread newspapers. Then I steeled myself and got back in the car to drive back to the hospital.

When I walked into his room with trepidation, he looked up and beamed to see me and instantly mouthed, "I love you, sweetheart."

Okay. We're friends again. When he's way better, he'll pay for that comment yesterday, but I can wait. (I joke now, that wasn't him, and I knew it all along.)

The doctors say they'll probably move him out of ICU tomorrow to a step-down room, and they are reasonably confident the mental disturbances will cease in more normal environs.

My daughter is coming to be with me, and she is always a cool breeze. We laugh together a lot.

Friends, you can turn down the wick on the worry lamp. Don't blow it out, though.

Mama

Posted by mamapolo at 20:41 on Oct 23rd, 2008

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JustJessie	Posted on 08:46PM on Oct 23rd, 2008 ((((((hugs))))))) we are here if you need us !
EBunbury Feeling blessed	Posted on 08:47PM on Oct 23rd, 2008 You're literally right...it wasn't him. The stress and medications alter personality. There is a wonderful side effect to such stress, it can block the formation of short-term memories. Doctors have learned the chemistry behind this, and when my mother was in ICU, they gave her medication specifically to block memory formation. He may not remember much about all this, afterward. (((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
mamapolo	Posted on 08:53PM on Oct 23rd, 2008 Thank you, dears. I have been hearing you through all this, and have been buoyed by your support. Maybe soon I can do some writing again. :)
EBunbury Feeling blessed	Posted on 09:00PM on Oct 23rd, 2008 Take your time. The important thing right now is to stay healthy yourself, so you can be there for him.
HappySailor	Posted on 05:31PM on Oct 24th, 2008 I will keep the wick as high as it needs to be... In my haste to hear news, I missed the thought of checking the latest blogs... I am delighted and once again awed and inspired to hear such wonderful news...Love, Prayer, strength... Still coming... HS...
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